This is NOT fun. I repeat NOT fun!

I didn't think I wanted to post about this but I have decided now that I will. Mostly because I'm bored out of my mind!! I don't think I'm a person who likes to complain much but in the past 3 weeks I have found myself complaining, feeling sorry for myself, and being quite annoying to myself. I cant imagine how annoying I am to those around me too. I'm just going to write about this because I don't want to forget it. Right now I cant imagine forgetting it but I'm sure in time this horrible nightmare will fade and I will forget the worst parts. I definitely feel like I know what it feels like now to be in an old folks home too. Boring, sad, boring, hopeless, boring, and on and on.
I had spine surgery on Dec 28th.

I have had back surgery before ( 11 years ago) but this was much worse than that was ( if you can imagine) and I promise on my life, I will never go through this again if I'm in my right mind and have any say in the matter. I had a fusion of L5 to #1. Almost halfway up my back. From my tail bone to whatever vertebrae it was. I am going to get the doctors records in 3 weeks and x rays and then I can talk more intelligently about it all. Anyway- I hate this recovery! This surgery is the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life. Having all 6 kids at one time could not be more painful. Being shot in the back with a shot gun would feel better than this. Being stabbed in the back would be a piece of cake in comparison. No I'm not exaggerating and that is why I hesitated to write this. Words can not express how horrible it was.
Well at least I can say WAS.. I'm 3 weeks post surgery and in the next 3 weeks I am hopeful that things will get better. It cant get worse!! No matter though, I am blessed to have such a wonderful husband who has been so patient with me its ridiculous, and kids who have come over and helped me several times and talked to me on the phone and cheered me up. I hate being dependent on people. I just hope and pray that I will never have to do this again. I hope I can put it behind me soon and never look back! I thank my Father in Heaven for helping me when I thought there was no way I could live through it. I'm still alive, and I thank Him every day for helping me make it through this first 3 weeks.